The 7 Deadly Sins: Envy. [edited]

"As long as he's not chained to anyone's leg, he's fair game. So what if he's got a girlfriend or even a wife for that matter? The important thing is that there's mutual attraction. I'm not forcing him to be adulterous, I'm just offering an option which he can choose to take, or not."

"If the guy is attracted to me, despite having a girlfriend or wife in tow, I can't help that. The girls can't say I've stolen their man. After all, he's an adult, and he can jolly well choose for himself. And tough if they can't hold on to their man."

"If I like a guy, I will make it known to him. And if he reciprocates, so be it. I make no apologies for hitting on the chap. From my point of view, it's an opportunity that I should not pass up. What if he's Mr Right for me...but is temporarily just stuck with some one else. We may be the perfect match. And like the saying goes, nothing ventured nothing gained."

Now I ain't no angel -- and boy, will lots of people vouch for that -- but the 36% who thought "Yes: He's fair game." to the poll "Would you steal her man?" in Her World August 2003, made me raise both my eyebrows.

Sure, it hit too close to home. But, really, have we become so selfish and obsessed with self-satisfaction that we have forgotten about respect for another person's feelings, and our own integrity? As mum sagely observed, the world has changed, and the younger generation just doesn't give two hoots.

It's a slippery slope, letting events progress just because you can't stop the guy from being attracted to you or reciprocating your advances. The fact is: You CAN stop anytime you want to. The truth is: Do you WANT to? Or will you continue to disclaim responsibility for your role in whatever happens?

I believe one should have the courage to pursue one's happiness. But let's not confuse courage with utter disregard for sensibilities. There is courage in 'doing', and there is courage, too, in 'not doing'. If he's indeed Mr Right, let him prove his courage too (and sincerity), to trust his own decision and to make a clean break before he starts afresh with someone else. If nothing else, wouldn't you like to know that Mr Right liked you enough to take that leap of faith on his own volution, or even to know that he won't cheat on you with another woman who decides he's her Mr Right too?

I wonder how the women who make up the 36% would feel, when they find themselves on the other side of the fence, and have a hard time 'holding on' to their guy. I wonder how they would like being in that position.